Crazy weather day today. Blizzard with gale-force winds, then calm and sunny! In 5 minutes or less.
Just read the lineup for Carnival - definitely going to have to check out some of the bands this year. For the uninformed, the list includes They Might Be Giants (with the Yves Jean Band), the Buzz Poets (with a Week in July), Jurassic 5 (with Dooley 0), and acoustic stuff Mike Farnya with James Tobin. Plus tons of campus bands. Finally, a concert! If I have to go sadly incognito, even, I shall attend.
I'm considering that I should apply for a job in tech support/customer service, as I seem to be doing pretty darn well with my mom's computer problems. Well, and that everyone working at Microsoft (except for friends and family) needs to die a horribly painful death, or at least spend 3 hours figuring out how to install a printer over the phone with someone who has yet to understand the concept of the minimize button. It almost makes me want to go into computer science to fix this shit.... almost.
Monday, March 31, 2003
Sunday, March 30, 2003
As Ms. U did such a fantabulous job of summarising the Roadtrip of Insanity (best said while spitting through a thick lisp and shrieking, ala Fezzini), I will not add any thought here, aside from the fact that I have probably driven more in the last week than in my entire life, combined. And what a learning experience it was. Particularly the 2 block ghetto tour of New Jersey, complete with dogfight at the crosswalk. Stimulating.
The trip and my accompanying retreat into my bedroom has distanced me from war-stuff, not being able to check CNN or listen to the radio/TV, and it's taken on an air of unreality and distance. I half hope that will continue, and half am ashamed about it.
Laura and I are looking for a 2 bedroom place in the area, so we plan to do apartment hunting sometime this week. Fun! I love looking at living spaces. More enjoyable with a friend.
Thus ends the regular post. What follows is self-indulgent worrying angst, which you shouldn't read unless you're extremely bored.
A lot of major changes are looming in the next two months and I feel the need to purge my uncertainty. I am fearing even more my return to Charlotte to the casa del madre, seeing as how my mother is becoming progressively insufferable. Aside from the almost weekly reminders of her mistreatment of my cat, resulting in him declaring war on the carpet, resulting in him being locked up in a bathroom for hours/days on end, resulting in an even more vicious attack on the outside world when released, etc. etc. vicious circle, I am noticing now (whether through the filter of age or distance, I'm not sure) that she has a tendency to snap before she thinks, avoid doing difficult things that may be fruitful and chooses instead to do difficult things which end up causing more trouble than they are worth.
For instance. Last semester she opted not to call and discuss our recent financial statement with the HUB, saying that it was too much trouble to deal with. So I didn't get any financial aid. Which is more a problem for her than me, but still. A telephone call was so difficult? More recently, her computer monitor broke, and she ordered a new one, which for many convoluted reasons ended up being late and broken. So instead, she decided to buy an entirely new system with a flat screen monitor and WindowsXP, when she was just getting used to Windows 98 or whatever she had. She then called me for tech support to get it back online and set up her Outlook account, which apparently sometime in the last week sent out an old copy of my resume and a virus to everyone in her address book, and then despaired because she didn't think to get all of the information she needed off the old computer before she dismantled it. She then had decided that she was going to give her old computer to my sister, who only needs a very basic computer, i.e., my laptop, or my iMac. Instead, she wants to give the massive computer with CD burner and the ability to run all of the graphics and modeling software that I use (and has it installed on there) to her and didn't think that perhaps I would get more use out of it.
So I tell her that I could really use that computer, and I'd be more than happy to give Jenny one or both of my computers as compensation, and she says, okay, I'll talk to Jenny about it, but you can't have the computer until you take the cat.
What the fuck. Does she think I don't want to take the cat? Does she think I want to leave my cat in her house, where she ignores him and doesn't take care of him and screams at him for being what he is, just because he wakes up her prissy annoying yapping little dog, that she paid hundreds of dollars for, months before the cat was going to be able to leave?
I don't remember her being this manipulative. I guess it's because before, I never *did* anything. I think I'm somewhat of a non-entity at my house, the strange vampire girl who hides in her room and likes boy stuff. I know my mother still doesn't understand me (gee, like I've never heard *that* before). She doesn't understand my taste, or what I'm talking about most of the time, if she bothers to listen. I know I tend to ramble when people let me, as I usually can't get a word in edgewise in my house, let alone control the conversation, and I tend to hijack people who are too nice to outright leave when I gab on and on, telling minute details about uninteresting things and repeating stories I've already told them. (Hence the blog, it never walks away.)
I know Sarah is still highly confused about me. She's attempting to come up with some sort of rule of thumb for my tastes and interests so that she can retain her title as 'good gift giver', and if it doesn't fit exactly, it's at least better than pink flowers and rhinestones, or purple everything as my mom is wont to default to. And vests. I will never understand her insistence that I should wear vests and overalls. Most of the time I think Sarah is just bemused about my strangeness, and occassionally frustrated that her dress-up doll turned out to be a tomboy even past the age where that sort of thing is acceptable and cute. I know I'm being overly cynical here, but I need to get it out somewhere that it won't cause damage.
Jenny, I think, understands me far more than I understand her, or at least doesn't try to understand me competely. She's rather content to share my preferences in things like color, scent, music, etc., and leave the vast majority of my life undiscovered. I'm always grateful that she ends up being my champion against my mother and Sarah, even if she does tear me to bits sometimes with chiding and scare me with her common sense, that makes me feel stupid and useless in comparison.
All in all, it's a rather convoluted and complicated relationship I have with what's left of my family, and I think with my father gone it's turning what were once better situations sour. Usually most of the drama seemed to come from my father, being rather short tempered and impatient when it came to what was taken as normal by the family females. Now I'm seeing my mom as less of an indulgent and sometimes pathetic figure (comforting her after fights tends to breed that image) and more as her own person, sometimes severely flawed. I wonder how she is the adult figure sometimes, with how she runs her life.
The fact that I'm so adept at wasting time when it comes to truly important things is less immaturity, I think, and more a personality flaw. It's not that I don't understand the importance of what I should be doing, it's that I simply do not have the energy and motivation to do so, and more often than not am scared and indecisive about what my next course of action should be. I'm terrified of making a mistake that will ruin my life, and end up doing nothing instead. I'm sure it's some sort of outbranching of a lack of confidence and self-esteem, and somehow related to my hesitancy to leave the house or interact with people, even friends. I hate feeling eyes on me, I hate having to catch myself before I do or say something socially unacceptable, and try to avoid an occasion where speaking to myself or wandering about in a daze is something to cause worry.
So, getting the courage up to run a simple errand is quickly overriden by whatever excuse is handy at the time, whether it be the weather, shop hours, using too much gas, wanting to get multiple errands done at once, not having clean clothing, etc. The more time I can spend in my cave, under my rock, the better, and it's something that's very difficult to avoid unless I have made commitments to others to be in a certain place at a certain time. When I am outside in the big bad world, the wish to return to my room grows stronger as time passes, especially as my energy drops and I want nothing more than to have dinner and curl up in bed. The pull is almost magnetic at times, and there are few reasons sufficient to prevent my return.
Which is why I cannot do as Steve once suggested, when I told him that happiness for me was being in bed for eternity. He said that maybe I should find an occupation suited to that, like being a writer (which I can't help but think was a subtle suggestion that design should not be my chosen profession). I replied that the fact that I would like to be in bed for all time is exactly the reason why I need a profession that gets me out of the house. Nothing was ever accomplished, in the long and grander scheme of things, by staying in bed constantly (unless you count creating influential children, and I can't exactly picture myself being a brood mare).
I wonder sometimes where I can get ahold of some of this motivation that people speak of. The only reason I may have appeared to have a work ethic, and I know I wasn't fooling many people just by staying up late, was overscheduling and procrastination. I could have easily done the work that I did in enough time to be home for dinner every night, but wiled away the hours instead chatting, daydreaming, reading, and generally doing anything other than the work at hand. I realized after a while that when projects were slow, leaving the house was an impossibility, and signed up for clubs and responsibility merely to impel myself to walk out the front door at least once a day. Having Ayako to drag me out was helpful too, and sometimes I think we were mutually beneficial in that respect, although I suspect that she doesn't have problems getting out of the house to get things done, or to be productive in some fashion. My inability to function effictively annoys and sometimes frightens me. I suppose that's better than high school, when I sought the darkness of my bedroom as an escape from life, rather than an avoidance of it, and was unaware that 'staring at the wall for hours on end', as my mom put it, was a Bad Thing. Still, what has that knowledge given me, besides angst and the inability to enjoy my unproductive days and nights without guilt?
I can't think of any substance, reason, internal motivation or excuse that is likely to turn me into the efficient person I long to become, and it worries me a great deal. I see myself eventually becoming homeless and never leaving my cozy cardboard box over the heating vent in some alleyway. After the days I spent never leaving the third floor, I know that hunger and thirst are ineffectual motivators.
I do wish to be self sufficient, if for no other reason than I can tell my mom to shut up and leave me alone when she decides to hound me incessantly about some responsibility I'm no doubt shirking. Not the healthiest of motivations, I agree, but it seems to work for a wide variety of people.
I suppose introversion is the root of my problem. I could happily and comfortably fold in upon myself (as some of you have seen me do), curl into a dark corner, and take up permanent residence inside my brain. All I need to amuse myself can be found within my room, I've known that since I was a small child. I think even a padded cell would do, although I would miss the music.
I'd hate to default to chemicals to solve what is obviously a personal problem. Perhaps I should check out some psychoanalysis books to figure out how to get over.. whatever it is I have to get over. Of course, that would require leaving the house. And having clean clothing...
The trip and my accompanying retreat into my bedroom has distanced me from war-stuff, not being able to check CNN or listen to the radio/TV, and it's taken on an air of unreality and distance. I half hope that will continue, and half am ashamed about it.
Laura and I are looking for a 2 bedroom place in the area, so we plan to do apartment hunting sometime this week. Fun! I love looking at living spaces. More enjoyable with a friend.
Thus ends the regular post. What follows is self-indulgent worrying angst, which you shouldn't read unless you're extremely bored.
A lot of major changes are looming in the next two months and I feel the need to purge my uncertainty. I am fearing even more my return to Charlotte to the casa del madre, seeing as how my mother is becoming progressively insufferable. Aside from the almost weekly reminders of her mistreatment of my cat, resulting in him declaring war on the carpet, resulting in him being locked up in a bathroom for hours/days on end, resulting in an even more vicious attack on the outside world when released, etc. etc. vicious circle, I am noticing now (whether through the filter of age or distance, I'm not sure) that she has a tendency to snap before she thinks, avoid doing difficult things that may be fruitful and chooses instead to do difficult things which end up causing more trouble than they are worth.
For instance. Last semester she opted not to call and discuss our recent financial statement with the HUB, saying that it was too much trouble to deal with. So I didn't get any financial aid. Which is more a problem for her than me, but still. A telephone call was so difficult? More recently, her computer monitor broke, and she ordered a new one, which for many convoluted reasons ended up being late and broken. So instead, she decided to buy an entirely new system with a flat screen monitor and WindowsXP, when she was just getting used to Windows 98 or whatever she had. She then called me for tech support to get it back online and set up her Outlook account, which apparently sometime in the last week sent out an old copy of my resume and a virus to everyone in her address book, and then despaired because she didn't think to get all of the information she needed off the old computer before she dismantled it. She then had decided that she was going to give her old computer to my sister, who only needs a very basic computer, i.e., my laptop, or my iMac. Instead, she wants to give the massive computer with CD burner and the ability to run all of the graphics and modeling software that I use (and has it installed on there) to her and didn't think that perhaps I would get more use out of it.
So I tell her that I could really use that computer, and I'd be more than happy to give Jenny one or both of my computers as compensation, and she says, okay, I'll talk to Jenny about it, but you can't have the computer until you take the cat.
What the fuck. Does she think I don't want to take the cat? Does she think I want to leave my cat in her house, where she ignores him and doesn't take care of him and screams at him for being what he is, just because he wakes up her prissy annoying yapping little dog, that she paid hundreds of dollars for, months before the cat was going to be able to leave?
I don't remember her being this manipulative. I guess it's because before, I never *did* anything. I think I'm somewhat of a non-entity at my house, the strange vampire girl who hides in her room and likes boy stuff. I know my mother still doesn't understand me (gee, like I've never heard *that* before). She doesn't understand my taste, or what I'm talking about most of the time, if she bothers to listen. I know I tend to ramble when people let me, as I usually can't get a word in edgewise in my house, let alone control the conversation, and I tend to hijack people who are too nice to outright leave when I gab on and on, telling minute details about uninteresting things and repeating stories I've already told them. (Hence the blog, it never walks away.)
I know Sarah is still highly confused about me. She's attempting to come up with some sort of rule of thumb for my tastes and interests so that she can retain her title as 'good gift giver', and if it doesn't fit exactly, it's at least better than pink flowers and rhinestones, or purple everything as my mom is wont to default to. And vests. I will never understand her insistence that I should wear vests and overalls. Most of the time I think Sarah is just bemused about my strangeness, and occassionally frustrated that her dress-up doll turned out to be a tomboy even past the age where that sort of thing is acceptable and cute. I know I'm being overly cynical here, but I need to get it out somewhere that it won't cause damage.
Jenny, I think, understands me far more than I understand her, or at least doesn't try to understand me competely. She's rather content to share my preferences in things like color, scent, music, etc., and leave the vast majority of my life undiscovered. I'm always grateful that she ends up being my champion against my mother and Sarah, even if she does tear me to bits sometimes with chiding and scare me with her common sense, that makes me feel stupid and useless in comparison.
All in all, it's a rather convoluted and complicated relationship I have with what's left of my family, and I think with my father gone it's turning what were once better situations sour. Usually most of the drama seemed to come from my father, being rather short tempered and impatient when it came to what was taken as normal by the family females. Now I'm seeing my mom as less of an indulgent and sometimes pathetic figure (comforting her after fights tends to breed that image) and more as her own person, sometimes severely flawed. I wonder how she is the adult figure sometimes, with how she runs her life.
The fact that I'm so adept at wasting time when it comes to truly important things is less immaturity, I think, and more a personality flaw. It's not that I don't understand the importance of what I should be doing, it's that I simply do not have the energy and motivation to do so, and more often than not am scared and indecisive about what my next course of action should be. I'm terrified of making a mistake that will ruin my life, and end up doing nothing instead. I'm sure it's some sort of outbranching of a lack of confidence and self-esteem, and somehow related to my hesitancy to leave the house or interact with people, even friends. I hate feeling eyes on me, I hate having to catch myself before I do or say something socially unacceptable, and try to avoid an occasion where speaking to myself or wandering about in a daze is something to cause worry.
So, getting the courage up to run a simple errand is quickly overriden by whatever excuse is handy at the time, whether it be the weather, shop hours, using too much gas, wanting to get multiple errands done at once, not having clean clothing, etc. The more time I can spend in my cave, under my rock, the better, and it's something that's very difficult to avoid unless I have made commitments to others to be in a certain place at a certain time. When I am outside in the big bad world, the wish to return to my room grows stronger as time passes, especially as my energy drops and I want nothing more than to have dinner and curl up in bed. The pull is almost magnetic at times, and there are few reasons sufficient to prevent my return.
Which is why I cannot do as Steve once suggested, when I told him that happiness for me was being in bed for eternity. He said that maybe I should find an occupation suited to that, like being a writer (which I can't help but think was a subtle suggestion that design should not be my chosen profession). I replied that the fact that I would like to be in bed for all time is exactly the reason why I need a profession that gets me out of the house. Nothing was ever accomplished, in the long and grander scheme of things, by staying in bed constantly (unless you count creating influential children, and I can't exactly picture myself being a brood mare).
I wonder sometimes where I can get ahold of some of this motivation that people speak of. The only reason I may have appeared to have a work ethic, and I know I wasn't fooling many people just by staying up late, was overscheduling and procrastination. I could have easily done the work that I did in enough time to be home for dinner every night, but wiled away the hours instead chatting, daydreaming, reading, and generally doing anything other than the work at hand. I realized after a while that when projects were slow, leaving the house was an impossibility, and signed up for clubs and responsibility merely to impel myself to walk out the front door at least once a day. Having Ayako to drag me out was helpful too, and sometimes I think we were mutually beneficial in that respect, although I suspect that she doesn't have problems getting out of the house to get things done, or to be productive in some fashion. My inability to function effictively annoys and sometimes frightens me. I suppose that's better than high school, when I sought the darkness of my bedroom as an escape from life, rather than an avoidance of it, and was unaware that 'staring at the wall for hours on end', as my mom put it, was a Bad Thing. Still, what has that knowledge given me, besides angst and the inability to enjoy my unproductive days and nights without guilt?
I can't think of any substance, reason, internal motivation or excuse that is likely to turn me into the efficient person I long to become, and it worries me a great deal. I see myself eventually becoming homeless and never leaving my cozy cardboard box over the heating vent in some alleyway. After the days I spent never leaving the third floor, I know that hunger and thirst are ineffectual motivators.
I do wish to be self sufficient, if for no other reason than I can tell my mom to shut up and leave me alone when she decides to hound me incessantly about some responsibility I'm no doubt shirking. Not the healthiest of motivations, I agree, but it seems to work for a wide variety of people.
I suppose introversion is the root of my problem. I could happily and comfortably fold in upon myself (as some of you have seen me do), curl into a dark corner, and take up permanent residence inside my brain. All I need to amuse myself can be found within my room, I've known that since I was a small child. I think even a padded cell would do, although I would miss the music.
I'd hate to default to chemicals to solve what is obviously a personal problem. Perhaps I should check out some psychoanalysis books to figure out how to get over.. whatever it is I have to get over. Of course, that would require leaving the house. And having clean clothing...
Friday, March 21, 2003
A U.S. official told CNN that Friday night's air strikes were the start of "A-Day" -- the opening salvos of a massive bombing campaign meant to instill "shock and awe" among Iraq's leadership.
What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. Is this a pissing contest? Our bombs are bigger than yours? This is NOT a valid reason to kill indiscriminantly.
I am so freaked out. Verge of tears. Everything seems so trivial but I have to worry about stupid shit like jobs and cars and hotel rooms. I think maybe getting away, going to the coast and staring out over the ocean... I think I need this, before I crack.
I want to go to the anti-war demonstration this afternoon and do sidewalk art with the big bucket of colored chalk downstairs, but I'm afraid I'll get arrested. Besides, I have too much to do. Goddamn. *sob*
Thursday, March 20, 2003
"..it's great to have the employ of the commander of the Autobots in the National Guard..."
I think I would have chosen She-Ra, myself.
I think I would have chosen She-Ra, myself.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
Life is too serious right now for suitable comment. Here's some stupid stuff:
:: how jedi are you? ::
Tartans in the news, and news in the Tartan:
Tartan Crime & Incident posted on Fark.com.
Anti-war rally confronts pro-war rally at CMU fraternities.
Rum-induced attempt of a CFA sophomore to hit World Bank speaker in the face with a homemade blueberry pie fails miserably.
Fifteen-year old CMU freshman falls 18 feet through Wean skylight with only a cut finger to show for it.
Is it just me, or did this place suddenly get more interesting than usual?
:: how jedi are you? ::
Tartans in the news, and news in the Tartan:
Tartan Crime & Incident posted on Fark.com.
Anti-war rally confronts pro-war rally at CMU fraternities.
Rum-induced attempt of a CFA sophomore to hit World Bank speaker in the face with a homemade blueberry pie fails miserably.
Fifteen-year old CMU freshman falls 18 feet through Wean skylight with only a cut finger to show for it.
Is it just me, or did this place suddenly get more interesting than usual?
Monday, March 17, 2003
I was in a good mood this morning. I wore my green, drew a shamrock on the house marker board, and enjoyed the warm walk to work. The day then deteriorated for various reasons I won't bother going into, ending with an Associated Press article advertising the 48 hour ultimatim to Iraq. On the way home, I found out the Uni-mart has been closed down for some time, and therefore couldn't buy the Guiness or Harp I was intending to swig while watching ol' GW announce the war. I walked home more quickly than I have in some time, needing to get home and drown my sorrows, walking out my tension and fear and nervous energy.
In the absence of Irish beer, I just opened the bottle of wine that's been sitting in the kitchen since June and downed 2 glasses during Bush's speech. I can't even say what I'm feeling about the world situation right now, except incredible apprehension.
I envy Jeff and Dave being in the lowcountry for the next few days, alligators or no.
In the absence of Irish beer, I just opened the bottle of wine that's been sitting in the kitchen since June and downed 2 glasses during Bush's speech. I can't even say what I'm feeling about the world situation right now, except incredible apprehension.
I envy Jeff and Dave being in the lowcountry for the next few days, alligators or no.
Sunday, March 16, 2003
A few observations about the day:
1) it is edging past warm, and onto downright *hot*. I should have realized that Pittsburgh could go from sub-freezing to sweating in under a month.
2) due to the weather, a group of fratties was playing shirtless frisbee next to Forbes. It's a sad fact of the school that the reality was less appealing than it sounds.
3) I'm sitting in a cluster where the computer names are based on Harry Potter (I'm on Hogwarts. Yay!)
4) People in the clusters are now singing along to whatever obnoxious cell phone tone happens to explode at random intervals.
I wonder how much this will change in the future. Will people still be constrained by stationary electronics and have to spend the first warm, sunny day in months inside a sticky, humid room filled with people to get work done? Why have we as humans constrained ourselves to this, where we have invented and come to rely upon complex machinery that prevents us from the simple pleasure of working outside in good weather? Is it worth the trade-off?
I'm still hoping that technology will solve its own problems. It occurs to me that's a rather stupid and naive way of looking at things, but there you have it. I don't know that there's any other option, at this point. Our path seems inexorable. We were put on this earth to create things that function beyond our scope, therefore expanding our (and nature's) capabilities to previously unknown heights. It would be nice if we had a better premonition of how these things will affect the future, or at least that we didn't have to deal with some of the difficulties of innate human nature. I wonder if we're really the pinnacle of evolution at this point, or just a flawed experiment that hasn't blown up yet. Either way, I think humans have purpose, and I greatly respect the heights that we could reach, as much as I loathe our depths. I really hope we don't destroy ourselves (or everything else) anytime soon.
1) it is edging past warm, and onto downright *hot*. I should have realized that Pittsburgh could go from sub-freezing to sweating in under a month.
2) due to the weather, a group of fratties was playing shirtless frisbee next to Forbes. It's a sad fact of the school that the reality was less appealing than it sounds.
3) I'm sitting in a cluster where the computer names are based on Harry Potter (I'm on Hogwarts. Yay!)
4) People in the clusters are now singing along to whatever obnoxious cell phone tone happens to explode at random intervals.
I wonder how much this will change in the future. Will people still be constrained by stationary electronics and have to spend the first warm, sunny day in months inside a sticky, humid room filled with people to get work done? Why have we as humans constrained ourselves to this, where we have invented and come to rely upon complex machinery that prevents us from the simple pleasure of working outside in good weather? Is it worth the trade-off?
I'm still hoping that technology will solve its own problems. It occurs to me that's a rather stupid and naive way of looking at things, but there you have it. I don't know that there's any other option, at this point. Our path seems inexorable. We were put on this earth to create things that function beyond our scope, therefore expanding our (and nature's) capabilities to previously unknown heights. It would be nice if we had a better premonition of how these things will affect the future, or at least that we didn't have to deal with some of the difficulties of innate human nature. I wonder if we're really the pinnacle of evolution at this point, or just a flawed experiment that hasn't blown up yet. Either way, I think humans have purpose, and I greatly respect the heights that we could reach, as much as I loathe our depths. I really hope we don't destroy ourselves (or everything else) anytime soon.
Friday, March 14, 2003
Got the quiz above from Dave. Posting this one instead because I didn't like the answer I got from the M&M quiz. ;)
The geeks are out in full force this March. Yesterday the fence was covered in fake plastic grass. I'm serious, the whole damn thing was astroturfed, with no explanation besides 3 flags and a golf ball on top.
Today I was in the Wean cluster messing with Solidworks and as I left I realized that KGB was playing Capture the Flag With Stuff. (This is at 9 pm on a Friday night, mind you.) And next week, world-famous hacker and ex-con Kevin Mitnick will be speaking on campus. Wh00t. CMU 0wnz3rs j00, MIT. Ph33r u5.
Thursday, March 13, 2003
When we all decide to move to Canada, we will be glad that somebody came up with this.
It would probably come in handy for traveling, too. "What Southern accent?! I love hockey! Maple syrup! Mounties! Eh?"
It would probably come in handy for traveling, too. "What Southern accent?! I love hockey! Maple syrup! Mounties! Eh?"
Oh, and I just realized I'd been dissing Tracey on my Xanga account. Oooops. Dunno how I forgot to add her to my list. I just spend a while catching up on all the posts I missed. I do not envy her the L.A., nor her filing convertible. Unless it's one of those sporty Mercedes roadsters with the automatic retractable hardtop. Those are sweet.
I think I'll go walk around campus and hand out some posters, and enjoy movement on a good-weather day.
I think I'll go walk around campus and hand out some posters, and enjoy movement on a good-weather day.
I love the weather today. It's cool and overcast and fluctuates from drizzling to storming. Just the way I like it.
I was coming back from the food carts and took the CivE stairs between Purnell and Doherty to walk down into the Pit. It made me think of the good old days, when Newell-Simon was Building D, and Taste of India was at the end of a long corridor filled with robots and gawking grad students. An adventure with every curry chicken.
I'm trying not to get too excited about the upcoming Spring Break and Ayako's visit - I don't need any other distractions from my goal of sending out portfolio samples and resumes next week. I will get a job. I WILL get a job. Goddamit.
I was coming back from the food carts and took the CivE stairs between Purnell and Doherty to walk down into the Pit. It made me think of the good old days, when Newell-Simon was Building D, and Taste of India was at the end of a long corridor filled with robots and gawking grad students. An adventure with every curry chicken.
I'm trying not to get too excited about the upcoming Spring Break and Ayako's visit - I don't need any other distractions from my goal of sending out portfolio samples and resumes next week. I will get a job. I WILL get a job. Goddamit.
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
Okay, this failed entry for the design t-shirt makes more sense now. It's a pro-medical marijuana shirt, apparently, but taken out of context and put on the wall, everyone was like, WTF is that??
Monday, March 10, 2003
Oh, and for all you ex-Tartans that haven't heard about the Nap Center in the UC, this was just put on misc.market:
Try the New UC Nap Center!
Re-energize mid-day using our customized Nap Chairs. Or try the Antigravity chair with built-in massage and heating. The Nap Center has ergonomic chairs, silent, vibrating wrist-alarms and light-blocking walls. 20 - 40 minute naps cost only $1. It's cleaner than a couch and more effective than coffee...Try it!
UC Nap Center
3rd floor UC Gameroom, use Skibo's spiral stairs
Weekdays 11am - 7pm, Open until April 4
Student Run, Not for profit
**The Nap Center is a GSIA student project. It is funded by the Health
Center, GSIA facilities, and GSIA's Entrepreneurial program.
Try the New UC Nap Center!
Re-energize mid-day using our customized Nap Chairs. Or try the Antigravity chair with built-in massage and heating. The Nap Center has ergonomic chairs, silent, vibrating wrist-alarms and light-blocking walls. 20 - 40 minute naps cost only $1. It's cleaner than a couch and more effective than coffee...Try it!
UC Nap Center
3rd floor UC Gameroom, use Skibo's spiral stairs
Weekdays 11am - 7pm, Open until April 4
Student Run, Not for profit
**The Nap Center is a GSIA student project. It is funded by the Health
Center, GSIA facilities, and GSIA's Entrepreneurial program.
While planning our pizza order last night, Laura and I got into a discussion about the proper type of soda for certain foods, and discovered it's very similar to choosing wine. Pizza, for instance, is rather heavy, and therefore requires dark (the soda equivalent of red). Chinese food can go either way depending on the ingredients, but a light pasta or chicken dish is usually served best with light soda (equivalent of white). I suppose the blush wines translate to the fruit sodas like Crush or Minutemaid.
I bought a Boylan's Creme soda today as an accompaniment to the leftover pizza. Definitely higher quality than the Pepsi we had last night, but it was really more suited as a dessert soda, rather than with a meal.
Laura's right. We don't need alchohol to be weird.
I bought a Boylan's Creme soda today as an accompaniment to the leftover pizza. Definitely higher quality than the Pepsi we had last night, but it was really more suited as a dessert soda, rather than with a meal.
Laura's right. We don't need alchohol to be weird.
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
Beautiful wonderful gorgeous amazing music this evening. The Chieftains were spectacular. 4 60ish men from Ireland (fiddle, flute, tin whistle, pipes, drums, voice), 2 brothers from Canada who can dance like nobody's fucking business (one of them could win a golden fiddle from the devil, too), 3 Irish dancers, a female Irish cellist with a sad breathy voice, and then the guests - a dozen young Irish dancers from a local school, Gretchen the harp player from the Pittsburgh symphony, a southern redhead with a strong, clear bluesy voice, a guitar playing singer from Nashville, and an assortment of yinzer Irish folk musicians.
The Benedum center is breathtaking. It's somewhere on the continuum between the old movie houses and Versailles. Crystal chandeliers, gilt plaster ornamenting the walls, the entranceway lined with mirrors, the ceilings covered in medallions, angels, griffons, plaster reliefs of Greek figures - the theatre alone was worth half the ticket.
I know want two things: 1) to go to an Irish pub and drink beer for St. Patrick's Day and 2) move to Ireland and never come home.
By the way, Kaya has really good food. Laura and I split a couple of tropas (like appetizers or tapas, or eating family style), both tasty. The decor is cool, too, a bit overdone in some parts but I liked it. Beewee did a good job. :) And apparently the ladies bathroom is painted with an undersea mural, where all the sea creatures have breasts. Laura and I are afraid to know what the mural in the men's bathroom is like.
The Benedum center is breathtaking. It's somewhere on the continuum between the old movie houses and Versailles. Crystal chandeliers, gilt plaster ornamenting the walls, the entranceway lined with mirrors, the ceilings covered in medallions, angels, griffons, plaster reliefs of Greek figures - the theatre alone was worth half the ticket.
I know want two things: 1) to go to an Irish pub and drink beer for St. Patrick's Day and 2) move to Ireland and never come home.
By the way, Kaya has really good food. Laura and I split a couple of tropas (like appetizers or tapas, or eating family style), both tasty. The decor is cool, too, a bit overdone in some parts but I liked it. Beewee did a good job. :) And apparently the ladies bathroom is painted with an undersea mural, where all the sea creatures have breasts. Laura and I are afraid to know what the mural in the men's bathroom is like.
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
Monday, March 03, 2003
Random notes from my first day on the job:
This morning was cold. The Cloud Factory was doing a helluva job when I was going to the FMS office.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: whenever I feel like a social pariah, all I need to do to feel better about myself is hang out in Wean for a bit. I was all over it today, a couple of times, and I realize that in comparison to some, I am not the utter freak I sometimes feel like. I even saw Mr. Greasy scuttle by. He always has that look of digust on his face. I would too, if my hair always looked like it was dripping wet. Yurlgh.
I saw a poster up on a couple of the tackboards in the Wean hallways - it had a picture of the Linux penguin with a circle and a line through it, and it said: "stop CODING and take a SHOWER! Linux makes you smell." I sniggered for quite some time at that.
I showed someone else the apartment today. He gave off some substantial creepy vibes. I could always be wrong, but if by some chance he decides he wants the place, I think I'd have to check with Pam first. I don't want to foist an Ed on her. ;)
I just bought tickets for the Chieftains, who are playing the Benedum center Wednesday night. Laura graciously agreed to drop the requisite $30+ to join me. There goes my most of my first day's pay.
And finally, my mom informed me that if I haven't found a real job by the time my family comes up for graduation, I'm going home with them. So if my career is still on hold in May, I'm packing to move home. Eeep.
This morning was cold. The Cloud Factory was doing a helluva job when I was going to the FMS office.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: whenever I feel like a social pariah, all I need to do to feel better about myself is hang out in Wean for a bit. I was all over it today, a couple of times, and I realize that in comparison to some, I am not the utter freak I sometimes feel like. I even saw Mr. Greasy scuttle by. He always has that look of digust on his face. I would too, if my hair always looked like it was dripping wet. Yurlgh.
I saw a poster up on a couple of the tackboards in the Wean hallways - it had a picture of the Linux penguin with a circle and a line through it, and it said: "stop CODING and take a SHOWER! Linux makes you smell." I sniggered for quite some time at that.
I showed someone else the apartment today. He gave off some substantial creepy vibes. I could always be wrong, but if by some chance he decides he wants the place, I think I'd have to check with Pam first. I don't want to foist an Ed on her. ;)
I just bought tickets for the Chieftains, who are playing the Benedum center Wednesday night. Laura graciously agreed to drop the requisite $30+ to join me. There goes my most of my first day's pay.
And finally, my mom informed me that if I haven't found a real job by the time my family comes up for graduation, I'm going home with them. So if my career is still on hold in May, I'm packing to move home. Eeep.
Saturday, March 01, 2003
Laura and I went out to celebrate my recent employment and newfound sense of productivity last night. (I even did a charcoal sketch of those pears I bought 2 weeks ago!) We were going to get dinner at Aladdin's but I ended up leaving later than I meant to and we didn't have time before the movie. We crossed our names off the list and left, and one woman actually chased after us from the restaurant, telling us that we could have a table in less than 5 minutes if we wanted. They are always SO nice there. That still would have rushed us, though, so we ended up grabbing a half sandwich and soup at Panera and ripping on their overdone environmental design. :)
We went to see About Schmidt - it was an interesting movie. Overall, I liked it a lot. It was purposefully slow, not action packed, considering it's about a retired 65 year old man and how he managed to fuck up his entire life. After the movie, we came back and invented a new dessert - leftover mini-pie-dough filled with fried apples, raisins, brown sugar and spices. Turned out pretty well. While we were cooking we talked a lot about life plans and what we want and what we're afraid of happening in the future. The movie is an excellent reference point for that kind of discussion, actually. Anyway, I recommend it, there's a lot of those normal-people-are-really-strange awkward/embarassing/absurd moments where you just have to laugh out loud, and some really touching moments in there, too. Normal American life and its utter insanity. Lovely.
My life feels like it's beginning to take shape, now. Before, everything was up in the air, and now that I have this job for at least the next month, I finally have something to anchor me, and I can move forward. I need to get a Pittsburgh library card, too, since they won't accept my ID at Hunt without some sort of application/payment process (fuckers). Getting a library card always lends a sense of permanence. Little things like that give you an indication of where you are in life, weird stuff like how buying toilet paper makes you feel incredibly independent and domestic.
After more than a month in my little mental wilderness, I finally feel like I'm ready to start life.
We went to see About Schmidt - it was an interesting movie. Overall, I liked it a lot. It was purposefully slow, not action packed, considering it's about a retired 65 year old man and how he managed to fuck up his entire life. After the movie, we came back and invented a new dessert - leftover mini-pie-dough filled with fried apples, raisins, brown sugar and spices. Turned out pretty well. While we were cooking we talked a lot about life plans and what we want and what we're afraid of happening in the future. The movie is an excellent reference point for that kind of discussion, actually. Anyway, I recommend it, there's a lot of those normal-people-are-really-strange awkward/embarassing/absurd moments where you just have to laugh out loud, and some really touching moments in there, too. Normal American life and its utter insanity. Lovely.
My life feels like it's beginning to take shape, now. Before, everything was up in the air, and now that I have this job for at least the next month, I finally have something to anchor me, and I can move forward. I need to get a Pittsburgh library card, too, since they won't accept my ID at Hunt without some sort of application/payment process (fuckers). Getting a library card always lends a sense of permanence. Little things like that give you an indication of where you are in life, weird stuff like how buying toilet paper makes you feel incredibly independent and domestic.
After more than a month in my little mental wilderness, I finally feel like I'm ready to start life.
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