Good news! Surgery went well, and kitty still has ALL 4 LEGS. This is a very good thing. If all goes well tonight I can pick him up tomorrow.

I'm going to do a little more research into kitty chemo and see if it's worth the pain/cost if that becomes an option. We'll get the pathology in a few days. The doc said hopefully we won't even have to worry about it, but it's good to be informed just in case. Once again, I plan for the worst and hope for the best.

I realized yesterday that I don't have a whole lot to focus on in my life besides taking care of myself, which isn't a whole lot of fun. As far as I'm concerned, my cat takes precendence over most things in my life. He's my child, now. And why not? I'm only 22. I have very little to be responsible for right now. There's a lot more stupid stuff for me to be concerned with or spending my time and money on other than the beloved pet I've had since I was 13.

And many thanks to Mr. Space, who yesterday gifted me with his very nice Palm Pilot IIIc with accessories. I appreciate all of fortune's little life preservers when you suddenly get dumped into the ocean of crap.

Kitty update:
He's at the vet right now, surgery is scheduled for tomorrow late morning/early afternoon. The surgeon said he doesn't think the leg will have to be taken off but he can't be sure until he gets a better idea, maybe not even until he's doing the surgery. That's the good news. The bad news is that depending on what type of cancer it is, exactly (which we won't know until the tumor is examined after surgery), he may have to undergo chemo. He said chemo's not as bad for pets as it is for humans, because they're going for 'comfortable' and not 'cure'. But I'm sure that'll be expensive, too (groan). The other possibilities are that the surgery will fix everything (slim), or that the type of cancer will be so agressive that chemo won't do a damn thing and then he won't have much time. Either way, doc says the tumor has to be removed because it's getting big enough to start interfering with things soon so it should improve quality of life anyway.

Surgery total is $900-1100 depending on how long the surgery takes and what he might need to use during the operation.

Let's add up my major expenses for this month, shall we?
$1100 - surgery
$1000 - rent, pet & security deposit for Hobart St. apartment
$600 - biopsy and vet visit
$425 - rent & utilities for Beeler house

Well, it's not like I'll be the only recent college grad in debt. That's how I plan to handle mom's complaints - don't pay the credit card bill this month (or at least, just the minimum due), and I'll get it when I get my job. Interest and everything. Still, though, ouch. And with all this, I haven't been working much at all for Barb, so the income is very very low. But shit happens, right? According to my sister, it always happens all at once, too. Which is nice, because you get a break once in a while. So I've heard. ;)

I bought some chocolate truffles and fresh bread on my way home. A little indulgence right now is a good thing.

I miss my baby. Even if he did bite my hand at the vet. He's such a bastard, I love him so much. Currently highly emotional, and going to finish my boards tonight and search desperately for a job tomorrow.

Geography Quiz

I got 147 out of 150. I think it was Nebraska that gave me some trouble. Damn rectangular states.

Last two links came from .::says me::., FYI.

Jeff and I were supposed to join Joe, Lisa, and others at 'Art All Night' in.. Lawrenceville? But we both ended up falling asleep in our respective apartments until midnight and decided not to go 'cuz we were too tired to go out by then. Party animals, that's what we are.

The Oracle of Starbucks Personality type: Clueless You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink tall white mocha are strippers. Also drinks: Wine coolers Can also be found at: The mall

My streak of life-suck continues.

Upon arriving in Pittsburgh, exhausted, I moved a bunch of my stuff into the new place with the help of Ms. Foley, locked my cat in the bathroom and went to Ritters for comfort food. The next day, I took my cat to the vet, where the doctor checked the lump and said she was very worried and she wanted to keep him for tests. He stayed there most of the day, I picked him up that afternoon and wrote a check for $500 for the X-ray, bloodwork and biopsy surgery. Kitty was very pissed at anything that came near him and drugged up to his eyeballs. They'd shaved his neck so I got my first look at the tumor - the size of a film canister. Everyone wondered how we missed it, and I don't have a good answer for them.

The biopsy results came back yesterday - malignant tumor, cancerous, needs to be removed. The vet says his entire left arm and part of the shoulder will need to be amputated. I scheduled a surgery consult today for Tuesday afternoon. The estimate for the surgery is $800 to $1000. I don't know if that includes post-op stuff, like medication, physical therapy, etc. My sister's taking up a collection at work to ease the initial financial blow - I will have a job, one way or the other, in a few weeks so it's more of a loan than a donation. If anyone's feeling generous, $20 here and there would help a lot. And it'll be paid back in a few months.

I feel so horrible for my kitty. He's actually doing very well now, the last couple of days the excretory adventures have stopped and the litter box is doing its job. He's been very affectionate, even to Laura when she came over (he hates strangers usually) and purrs pretty much all the time. Still a bit scared of anything new - he freaked out this morning when I took a shower and hid in my computer box.

It's horrible, knowing the future. I keep staring at his left leg, that perfect little paw, knowing it will disappear forever in a week or so (the surgery itself isn't scheduled yet).

At the same time, it's horrible not knowing the future. Will all the cancer be removed with the surgery? Is it worth all the pain and suffering? Will it really extend his life or just delay the inevitable by a few painful months?

This just all has a terrible ring of familiarity. I hate cancer.

Bad sad news.

The vet found a lump on kitty's shoulder. It's all bad signs. I'm not sure if what she told me might happen are the only options or just the worst-case scenarios. I'm going to take him to a vet when I get to Pittsburgh and they'll do a biopsy.

He might lose his leg. She said the other options were chemotherapy or just coming to an understanding between me and him about how to let him live it out. Like I said, I don't know if those are my only 2 choices, or just what happens if the biopsy doesn't come out well.

Not a good pet day, all around. We came back and he pissed on the wall in my room, right in front of me, then ran over to the other side of the room to crap - I chased him out of the room, grabbed him and locked him in the bathroom with his litter box. When I came back in from cleaning up the urine, he'd crapped on the tile floor in the corner and stained the grout. I don't know anymore if he does it out of anger or because he's sick.

My stomach's in a knot about all this. He's only 9, I didn't think things would start to go badly for a few more years, but I guess that's how these things happen. Plus, bodily function things are probably only going to get worse, and I feel bad that Laura is going to be trapped in the drama of my cat's excretory functions. I suppose she doesn't have to move until the end of May, so there's 5 weeks of gimme room, but I feel bad. First allergies, now this.

It's going to be a difficult trip back to Pittsburgh.

Upon my return home, I settled back into my role of resident animal wrangling computer geek, installing spell check and fixing the printer, interspersed with the occasional poop/urine clean-up call. My cat pissed in the bathtub. Sure, of all the places to go, it's one of the more preferable, but really... *why*?

Anyway, pictures - courtesy of mom's digital camera.


Emma, in classic prissy dog pose. Like I said, ridiculously adorable.


Emma as a puppy.

(image deleted for complicated reasons)
I met mom's new boy, Bill. He's currently divorcing, has 3 kids, and is very nice. He brings mom tons of flowers (mostly potted), which she then shunts to Sarah for triage once they start to die. Jenny laughingly suggested that mom take some of the extras to the cemetary, but everyone agrees that's bad form on multiple levels.

I'm getting nothing done and drinking lots of diet coke with lemon. It's pretty nice, actually.

Well, since nobody accompanied me home (spllllbbbttth), I made my longest solo trip ever today, successfully. Once I got out of Pittsburgh, anyway, since everything outside of Oakland is apparently one giant detour. Squealed my tires merging onto Boulevard of the Allies. Mwa HA.

Sped the whole way, miraculously avoided cops left and right, all in the pouring rain. 75MPH+ at all times, baby. Sang horribly to myself at top volume, yelled insults at the drivers in front of me (why, WHY do people brake on the interstate when there's nothing in front of them? The car slows itself down if you take your foot off the gas pedal! Honest!).

Now I'm home, my grandmother was surprised (but I think I accidentally blew her birthday present surprise for Sunday when I was fixing my mom's outlook account, OOPS). The cat is happy to see me (and the feeling is mutual). Emma is just the cutest fucking dog in the whole world. I'm serious. Nothing can compete with her. I almost want mom to bring her to graduation just because she's so ridiculously adorable. My cat is pretty, in an aloof, untouchable bastard kind of way, but Emma... I mean, she *wiggles*. No wonder the cat hates her.

Previous sister/money-related dramas were miraculously resolved with the magic 'co-sign' elixir. I'm meeting my mom's new boyfriend tomorrow night. Caron might be stopping by for a visit on Sunday, bringing Jim (bed-wetting alcoholic punk) with her. Any additional alterations in my drama level will be duly noted.

**** PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT ****
Due to random family stuff, I am driving to Charlotte this weekend,
leaving Friday morning and returning Monday night. 8 hours each way.

If any of yinz would like to accompany me to the land of pork, tobacco,
and Krispy Kreme, let me know. You know you want to.

You can stay at my place for the weekend, or I can drop you off anywhere
along the way

***OR***

if the Blackwood hotel is open for visitors, I can meet him somewhere in
BFE and drop you off for a fun-filled weekend with the Davester.

Caveats:
-there are 3 seats available in the car, don't care who fills them, so
friends/SOs are invited
-my grandmother's 80th birthday is on Saturday so I'm booked for that day
-there are 2 spare beds available at my home + a comfy couch
-I will be transporting a cat on the way back (yay!) so mind the allergies
-I'd prefer not to have to drive more than an hour out of my way to drop
people off, but we can haggle.

I'd just really appreciate anybody riding/driving along with me (driving
not required) through the beautiful vistas of the Appalachian mountains.

If you're interested, let me know by Thursday evening - e-mail or call
412.512.7667.

Please pass this along to any Pittsburgh-types that might be interested
in southerly travel, whether I know them or not.

Yeehaw.

**** END PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT ****

Sorry for the barrage of media types I'm using to get this message out, but this is pretty darn short notice.

My life went to shit starting around 9 pm last night, when Homemade Pizza Night turned into the Vomitous Evening of Extended Pain and Suffering. I spent the next 5 hours forcefully ejecting said pizza at the laborious rate of 2 upchucks per hour and passing out in uncomfortable positions on the bathroom rug. My whole body is sore, I'm shaky and exhausted, and there is Intense Drama at home. I'll rant on that later. Probably to Ayako (bwa ha ha).

One thing I gleaned from this experience, besides the fact that I'm not eating pizza or anything with mushrooms for a while (shudder), is that when you're crawling around on the floor in agony, it suddenly makes sense why bathrooms should be cleaned at least once a week. Oh, and don't eat or drink anything for at least two hours after you throw up, or it will be DENIED because your stomach is inflamed. That snippet courtesy of a 3 am phone call to my uncle the M.D. to see if I should go to the ER.

Life is pain. I'm going back to bed.

I love it when my horoscope sounds like a scolding mother:

Loosen up before you become paranoid. Concentrate on enhancing your looks. It's time you started to enjoy life instead of always worrying.

Right on. Chill out, dress up, and go party. Thanks, mom. ;)

Wendy is a Plankton-Eating Sumo Monkey with a Battle Rating of 4.6.
Unleash your own Food-Eating Battle Monkey.

I beat David but I lost to Jeff. Those Cabbage-Eating Skeleton Monkeys are hard to handle.

I continue to stay optimistic that I will find employment once I get off my ass and look for it. Laura and I did a major shopping excursion today to Monroeville and I dropped $200 on nice clothes for work/interviews. And it's all covered by my Visa gift card from Christmas. Yeah, baby.

We also stopped by the John Harvard brewery and bought a 1/2 gallon of micro-brewed root beer. One major plus for Pittsburgh- lots of microbreweries. I like them.

I'm hoping that between the two of us, Laura and I will motivate each other to make cool shit for our apartment. We should have a home furnishings competition between all us design kids, with some sort of wacky prize.

By the way, apologies to anyone that I didn't say goodbye to after the Lisa/Joe BBQ - I was running out the door and didn't have time. Great seeing everyone, even if I didn't talk to you! Yay for Carnival and lovely weather.

Spent 4 hours on Midway today, checking the booths for environmental sins and generally observing the mayhem. Everyone watched me and Barb suspiciously, walking around with our clipboards and checking the paint can labels. Some of them took the other route and were gratuitously kind. Heh. Power wielding is fun.

By the time I got home, I was beat. I passed out on my bed for an hour or two, still clothed, and realized I had a bunch of 3" screws in my pocket the whole time. I woke up around 10 (too tired for Dave Attell) and realized I was sunburned. Yay.

Bumped into Mason at Midway, resuming his status as APhiO concessions expert. We chatted for a few minutes about design jobs (more specifically, the general lack thereof). I also spotted Aliyah Omer, my floormate from freshman year, who invited me to a party she won at Mario's in the South Side, but I was way too tired and nas-T to go.

My energy levels keep fluctuating wildly. One day I'm hyper, the next I'm sedated. Hopefully I'll be feeling energetic and sociable this weekend and maybe hang out with some designers. I heard rumors about the BBQ at Joe and Lisas, but I have no idea where they live.... well, I suppose Jeff & Willy would know. Any plans for a Pamela's takeover? After 11 dinners? And who's going to the concerts? I must take advantage of socialization while I can, if my Worst Case Scenario comes true.

Every time I have to work with Microsoft Word, I inevitably end up feeling like Karen facing Milkman Dan.

"I hate you, Microsoft Word."

A current-events update to everyone's favorite 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' answer compilation:

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

COLIN POWELL
Now, at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

(courtesy of princess, via misc.market)