Yeehaw. I spent $400.00 of my mom's money today on various college things. The first of which was, of course, my new twin mattress, box spring, and frame, from the Original Mattress Company for a total of $208.00 including delivery. They'll even carry it up the 2 flights and install it. Wh00.

Then we hit BJ's and bought another 200 bucks worth of junk. A rug for 10 bucks. Ridiculous amounts of detergent, softener, dishwasher tabs, boxed pasta meals, spaghetti sauce, bottled water, paper products and assorted edibles and toiletries. Oh, and a quart of minced garlic for $2.50. Ha!

Watched the Weakest Link today at 4 because Mom left the tennis on when she went to get her nails done. Don't usually watch that show, but it was the college edition and a girl from my alma mater was on there. She did pretty well but got kicked off because she didn't bank. It ended up that some guy from Queens College (!!!) ended up winning almost $18,000 and the audience's favor. He beat the guy from Yale in the final round, quite soundly. Go QC! Charlotte in tha house. ;)

We also stopped by the Peaceful Dragon over in McMullen Creek. I've driven by it for years and never actually gone in - I thought it was just a tai-chi place, but they have a whole vegetarian cafe with the best veggie burger in Charlotte (as voted by Creative Loafing, we ended up eating at Cluckers so I don't have any personal confirmation). They also sell incense and tea stuff, which is why we were there. Apparently Japanese incense doesn't have bamboo sticks on one end, so they don't fit in the holder I made for Jenny. I picked up some other type (Indian? Thai?) of incense for her instead - it was cheaper and they had vanilla scented. I'm regretting never having gone in there- it's a very cool place.

I got my ceramics projects today, too - everything melted either too much or not enough. ;) My sculptural thing turned out okay but not quite as well as I'd hoped, and the electric blue only showed up in the drips at the base. More importantly, though, my watering can... doesn't water. Amazingly, it's all in one piece, but there's some glaze blockage in the base of the tube, and I can't get in there with anything except a hanger. Maybe I can get someone's dremel with the pencil/snake attachment on it and drill through that puppy. The glaze didn't come out as aged or translucent as I had expected, either, and I lost the white slip-leaf design. :( My 3-legged alien insect incense/candle holder turned out... interesting. It melted, too, but in a weird twisty-way. If you look at it from the top it looks like a hazardous waste symbol. I like it, though, it has a lot of movement and personality.

I'm in the middle of so many projects - pack my iMac, finish painting the mural so we can put a top coat on, booking a hotel in West Virginia (a tip - when comparing hotels, go to Yahoo travel to compare them. Then go straight to that hotel's website to book a room - if I had gone through Yahoo, the base price is 80 bucks a night at Holiday Inn. Going through their website, I get an internet price of 63.75/night for the same room) - and I have to pay the online bills for my mom and I. Both platinum cards, coincidentally. ;) Starting to get excited about going up there... I can taste the freedom! I just have to get my ass in gear to get up there with everything I need. Blegh.

Damn!!! I was all ready to celebrate my java-fu, and I realized my code has a minor bug somewhere that I'm unsure of how to fix.

I've been messing with rollovers and making them extraordinarily complicated (for someone who's learning java as I go) - basic rollover, okay. Basic image swap onClick, okay. But how... how do I include both a rollover *and* an image swap? Basically, you have 3 pictures - off, over, and click. when you mouseover the image, it switches from blah.off to blah.over. when you mouseoff, it goes back to blah.off. But I wanted it so that when you clicked on the link, you got blah.click instead of blah.off. Oh, and it should stay that way, even after you take the mouse off the link. Oh yeah, and still switch to blah.over when you mouseover, but after it's been clicked once, it should go back to blah.click when you mouseoff. If that made any sense, good for you.

So I managed to do this, over a period of 3 or so hours, between trial and error, looking up help websites that totally confused me, and learning more java. Oh, and crashing my computer. But I got it done! Then I realized I wanted to do it 8 times on the same page, and had to find a way to reset it. Figured that out too.... almost. Almost. Mouseovers fine. Click makes the images swap, and they still mouseover fine. Both of 'em so far. However, if you click on one, then mouseover the next one, it switches to blah.click.

Damn. I can't get it. I can't figure it out now. Eh, it's 2:30 in the morning. Even geek wannabes like me need sleep. Blah.

Grrr.. finding a restaurant shouldn't be this hard. I want patio dining, serving affordable Sunday dinner, within 5-10 miles of my house. citysearch does a decent job of organizing, but their search function needs some help.

Doesn't anybody *eat* on Sundays?? Is that against the Sabbath too? splllltth! Fucking Christians. ;) And don't get me started on NASCAR fans.

I'll see how Sir Edmond Halley's goes with the fam - Sarah'll probably like it cuz we can swing by and look at the house she's under contract on.

Mom spent yesterday at Alan (or Allen?) Simonini's house on Lake Norman. 6000 square feet. Every water accessory you can think of except a yacht (including a private beach). Apparently Ann's maiden name is Simonini. I had no idea... For non-Charlotteans, Simonini builders (his company) are winning awards right and left and are *the* up and coming builder for the ridiculously wealthy. Mr S. himself was fishing somewhere tropical. Mom and Ann are planning a sleepover with friends when they house-sit this summer. That should be... interesting.

Sigh... I should paint.

This is the best worst movie ever.

"Where's Dorcas?!"

My day thus far has been unbearably exciting, as usual. I sold some books on Amazon, sent out a couple of emails, chatted with Ayako and let the eastern-european or russian fix-it guys in to take up our broken kitchen floor tiles. I was supposed to start painting 4 hours ago. I think loriloo knows dan kuo. How, I'm not sure, but I don't feel like going through the archives to find out. Much.

Last night Caron came over - I was slightly disappointed because two minutes after she called from the road (there's a race on Sunday, plus Memorial day weekend, so it took her almost twice as long as usual to get here), Joanne called to say she was coming home this weekend and wanted to know if I wished to join her and Andrew at a piano bar later that evening. How cool does that sound?? But Caron's pathetically sick due to tonsil removal, and coming home just to see me. And apparently Andrew has issues with Caron, so my groups of friends can't mix. So I had to turn her down - hopefully I'll be able to see her sometime in the next couple of days, but I haven't heard back from her since.... and it's nearly 2:30, so Caron should be waking up or calling sometime soon.

We went to Champps Americana to grab dinner, since her parent's new house is right down the road, and tried to find her little brother's copy of Ocean's 11. Mmmm..... yummy. However, he wasn't back from his groundskeeping job yet, so we went through his room looking for it. Found 2 porn tapes, a family-size bottle of hand lotion, 2 Britney Spears posters and 2 cans of Skoal in his sock drawer (apparently he neither chews *nor* smokes pot. Yeah right). Eventually he came home and made us feel stupid, by pointing out that they had been in his tape rack, underneath his VCR and TV. Uh... yeah.

I hooked up her parents TV and VCR (at one point the VCR crashed onto the hardwood floor, but it's a robust little thing) and we watched the movie and a couple of Cosby Show reruns.

Mom's at the lake with Ann. Before she left, she told me to give directions to the lake to any single guys that might call. Not sure if she gave the recently-aquainted 33 year old her number or not... so glad I'm leaving next week. So glad. I've been looking at summer classes - at CPCC, all of the online classes are full. All of them. They cost about $100/class. Everywhere else is at least $500/class, and at CMU it's $2000/class. I'm a moron.

Should I make some hummus, or just have pitas & peanut butter?

Oh, one last thing before I forget (and while I'm waiting for 'life during wartime' to download from limewire)

More proof that I am the center of the universe:

I was reading says me, who I think lives in Texas, and wandered through her link on over to loriloo, who I have read off and on in the past. I think she was a blog of note at one point. Anyhoo, I happen to see that loriloo, in korea, is reading fuzzy squid. I recognize fuzzy squid from the CMU design class of 2001 website, besigner, and wander over *there* to see what the fuss is about. Turns out, fuzzy squid is Dan Kuo's website. I took an HTML class from Dan Kuo before he graduated from CMU last year. Of course, fuzzy squid links to besigner, which has a link back to my website. Follow the circle: charlotte -> texas -> korea -> new york city -> pittsburgh -> charlotte. Weirdness.

You'd think, being the center of the universe and all, that more people would be finding my blog. You'd think.

Yeah - sorry about those long-ass posts. This is my diary, remember? I'm excited when things actually happen.

Been spending the last few days figuring out the money situation with the Pittsburgh house. Laura moved home for the summer and took her bed so I have to find a new one. I get the feeling I may be sleeping on the couch before my first day of work. Apparently Mom is scheduled to work June 1st so we have to drive up (8 hrs) the 2nd, and unpack. Remember, now, that a) my room is on the 3rd floor, and b) that it's completely filled with junk. Some of it's mine, most of it's not. Yeah, it should be fun.

Trying to finish off the bathroom with Lisa - we worked, oh, 5 or 6 hours today. Finished almost all of the rocks, she started on the seascape, put greenery and wrought iron over the shower. I get the feeling it won't be *completely* done tomorrow, but it'll be pretty damn close.

Spent the last couple of hours putting random javascript on my website, although some of it you won't see because once I got everything working, I realized two of my commands are mutually exclusive and don't make sense anyway. Looks like I'll either give up on that part being interactive (except maybe a rollover), or go all out and make an imagemap. Yech.

I should shower. And start making a list of all the stuff I need to do while I'm home, during the first few days I'm up there, and random things I'd like to accomplish this summer. I keep forgetting about the CPCC classes - they're probably all cut or full. I'll check again tomorrow sometime and call around. Somehow I always end up trying to call places on Friday afternoons. I don't know why.

Today I ate: slim fast protein (powdered chocolate) mixed with soymilk for breakfast. diet coke with lemon for lunch. leftover tofu pad thai, one low-fat spinach-herb tortilla with picante sauce, and freeze & bake roll with light butter for dinner. 1/2 liter of diet flavored sparkling water.

See? If I keep busy, it prevents me from eating. I'm hoping this summer will bring a smaller ass, cuz god knows I need one.

I don:t even know how to express my emotions about today - or at least, how to do so without crying.

Yesterday we went to the honors ceremony, and I recognized a bunch of names. Ayako was doubly recognized for getting honors in both design and modern languages. After that, we went to the design picnic and I saw a bunch of people and their families. Tons of food leftover. It was great seeing everyone:s parents and siblings for the first time - a lot of them we could pick out at a glance, sometimes looking so much like the face we know that we did doubletakes. I wandered around, saw everyone:s kickass projects (the studio is TRASHED), said hi to everyone. We went back to Ayako:s and watched the senior slide show (which Ayako had missed) on CD Rom with Laura. I so wanted to cry - especially when it was just a conglomeration of various snapshots throughout the years (the other sections had themes, like white trash party, spring break, studio, etc.) and Tom Petty:s :Time to move on: played in the background.

We all sat around for a while, thinking, and I regretted how little I:d participated in the social stuff. True, I would make an appearance at one party or another, and I missed the whole past year where a whole lot of bonding went on. But I was only in like 3 pictures in the entire slide show, and that disappointed me. Especially because I love all these people so much - sure, I know some better than others, but still. Each one is so individually cool and nifty and interesting, and we all have common experiences and knowledge and interest. They:re just an amazing bunch of people, and I:m going to miss them like hell. I do already, thinking about working late in studio with people I don:t know. It:s almost inconceivable.

Last night Laura and I went to dinner with Ayako and her family, her family friend Mrs. Ishitobi, and her teacher, Sufumi So. (yes, that makes Laura and I the only non-Japanese speakers, the only caucasians and the two tallest of the group.) We went to the fish market restaurant in the Westin Convention center hotel downtown. Really good food - unfortunately no vegetarian entrees, so Ayako and I split a really good clam chowder, an excellent spinach and goat cheese salad, and an entree of basil salmon with wild mushroom pasta. Then the two of us and Laura split a Mocha Cappuchino creme brulee (holy crap was that good) with biscotti and a apple something tart (also good). Ayako:s parents paid, then we went to the waterfront to see Spiderman. I had always thought when they said the theatre name that it was Lowe:s theatre, like Verizon ampitheatre or PNC park (Charlotte has Lowe:s motor speedway, you can understand my thinking) but no, it was Loew:s theatre.

It:s huge, to start, and the architecture is Aladdin-like, with fat gold pillars. There was no student discount, and the two showings were sold out, so we paid 8 bucks a pop and hung around for an hour until the 11:30 showing. We went into the theatre, which the map said was 2 stories, so I was expecting huge- not so. Nice stadium seating, and on the :second floor:, which was more of a division than another level, there was :first class: - leather seats, hardwood floors, padded armrests with wood paneled cupholders. We couldn:t see anything that said it was reserved, and took over most of a row. Then some guy came along and said, :I have seats A1-A6, these are my seats, get up:, or something rude along those lines. We wandered around the theatre for a while and then settled just to the right of first class in the little 2 seat rows.

Spiderman was enjoyable, but not as much as I was expecting. I dunno, the :slow parts: were good, I really liked the character development. And I liked Mary Jane, that she was pretty but not perfect, that she was popular but still nice. She wasn:t the cold personality-less beauty that most :heroines: are, although I guess she could have used a little more.... individuality, I suppose. A reason for loving her besides beauty, I guess, although she had more than say, Kate Beckinsdale in Pearl Harbor, or Julia Roberts in Notting Hill (um... why are you in love with these women again?). I dunno, it was a weird mix of ultra-comic book pace, personality, and editing, and reality. Like, the villain was way over the top (and I hated his mask/costume), Aunt Mae was too perfect and flat, Uncle Ben gave me the creeps, Osbourne was mostly normal but then the newspaper guy was totally crazy. It was just like, wait, is this serious or goofy? Like, Batman was dark but over the top - but it was all the same percentage over the top, yknow? This one kind of went back and forth. I was disappointed, and it:s hard to do that. I guess it:s possibly the hype. I think Tobey did a great job, Kirsten was good but somehow needed more character (dunno if that was her fault at all tho), Dafoe was pretty good... it was just... stuff. It didn:t congeal, it was like it was just thrown together and it hadn:t set long enough for the flavors to mix together and they just randomly appeared next to each other, not neccesarily in complement. Hmm.

Yeah, then we left Loew:s by way of the club lounge, and I realized that there was a special gold membership or whatever that:s probably ridiculously expensive, and they get all this fancy shit like the private lounge and the first class seating. I just didn:t like the place at all, it gave me a horrible sense of overcaptalism - indulgence and class distinction, and way way too much of everything. Glitzy, tawdry, snooty - no good feelings. Then walking to the parking lot we were trying to figure something out in the part that connects all the parking lots - not enough to call it a street. We were about 50 feet down from a stopsign, and this redneck in a decorated pickup truck speeds past like he:s drag racing and yell:s :get out of the road!!!: What the hell? You:re stopping soon and we:re only in part of the road, with nobody coming the other way. Hick. But the whole place was like that - indulgent over the top glitz populated by rude rednecks. I:m going to try to avoid that place as much as possible.

Anyway. We got home at 2:30, got up at 7, and left by 8 to go to Ayako:s modern languages graduation ceremony by 8:30. There were less than 2 dozen people getting their degrees (including postgrad) so it was very personalized ceremony. Nice, indoors, small. The teachers from each department talked about what made the student special, gave them a gift and everything. Professor Hayes talked a lot about Ayako and obviously felt very close to her, and looked on the verge of tears, telling her very seriously to come visit and talk with them. Ayako got her certificate and stuff and bowed to both of her teachers a few times (back and forth), which I love. I don:t want to trivialize it by saying it:s cute, but it:s such a nice custom - respectful, graceful, and something only a native can do.

After that Laura and I went to the bleachers for the main commencement ceremony - it started raining and they passed out ponchos (chucked them into the stands, pegging Laura right in the chest at least once). It was a good ceremony, not blindingly long, pretty casual. Gov. Tom Ridge was the keynote speaker (he got an honorary doctorate) and did some long winded political speech with a few personal things thrown in. I think most people ignored him, except the three protesters on the field with a huge :what price :security:?: sign, chanting :homeland security equals racial purity: and screaming that tom ridge is a murderer. The bleacher folk enjoyed it, anyway. ;)

After commencement, which was really weird watching from the stands when for more than 3 years I expected to be on the field, I headed over to the design commencement. Laura took off to get pain relievers for a headache and I never saw her again - I think she:s in her room napping. The design commencement was short and sweet- Mickey gave a good solid speech, everyone got their name read (often incorrectly) by Dr. Dick, and that was it. Food was good, everyone mingled, I saw Erika and Kelly Rae and Amanda for the first time in a while, chatted with some teachers, wandered around a lot with Ayako. Kept singing :and you say he:s just a friend:, our class song, until Ayako:s family left. Aya and I sat down at one of the outside tables and got our butts wet, watched everyone getting pictures with their families and giving each other huge hugs, thinking about how this is it, this is the end of everything, and never ever ever will we get to feel anything like this. I was crying because I:d missed it, because I had to continue without them, because I wished I:d had more time to spend with them. Ayako was crying because of the first reason, and we sat in the corner in our wet seats, wiping our tears and laughing sheepishly. Then the sun went away and the temperature dropped again, so we went home. And here I am.

I can:t believe I:m going to have to go on without these people around me, that I wasted the chance to get to know them better, to hang out with them. I was seriously considering the other day seeing someone at the counseling center (hey, get it while it:s free) to talk about my shyness and absolute awkwardness and rigidity when it comes to social situations. I:d like to think that if I ever gained more confidence in my physical appearance that I:d be better socially, but I:m afraid that I won:t, and that would really suck. I:d so like to enjoy myself, to just talk with people without worrying about things, because I know these people, and they:re sweethearts, and they:re such great people, but I still find myself not meeting their gaze, or trying desperately to think of something to say while we stand near each other without talking. It happens to almost everyone. Arghhh... It:s such a frustrating thing to have to deal with, and it affects so much of my life. I:m not sure how to deal with it, and I really regret that it put a damper on the past 3/4 years, which could have been better. They:re still the best time of my life thus far, but the fact that I could have enjoyed it more, taken advantage of it more, and I didn:t not because of choice but because of something that maybe could be changed -- I hope I can end that.

Well, I had started a post, but Ayako:s Japanese laptop ate it. (For future reference, : = ' , because shift-7 is too hard to get an apostrophe)

So anyway, as I was saying. To start off my trip to P-Town for the commencement festivities, I missed my flight. Mom insisited on me repacking my suitcase and printing out my itinerary (which I didn:t need), thus making us 20 minutes late and ending up with me being too late to get the bags on my flight. Luckily I was flying USAir, since Charlotte and Pittsburgh are their hubs, so I hopped on a flight connecting to Phoenix that left 2 hours later. So I grabbed a BK Veggie and snuggled up at my gate to finish Beloved. Wow. What an absolutely amazing book. I devoured it until the plane was almost ready to take off, and it put me in a wonderful contemplative philosophical state of mind. I was penning an epiphany in my mind at the time, but it:s been too long to recover it. Maybe some other time, or some other blog.

Well, I landed in Pittsburgh fine, but went to go wait on the wrong side of the airport for my ride (I went to the bus side out of habit), until a baggage handler who had noticed me waiting forever told me I was in the wrong place. (intense feeling of stupidity.) Luckily, Ayako and Laura got lost in a detour due to construction on one of the tunnels, and we arrived at the same place at the same time. So it was okay. ;)

We went straight from the airport out to dinner, at a place called Aladdin:s in Squirrel Hill, on Forbes Ave. Great place, nice decor, great food, highly decent prices. It:s not as cheap as Baba D:s but you get better stuff. I had a tabboule pocket. Afterwards, we wandered around until we found the Bubble Tea place. I:ve been hearing it from various places - the first was in an email Ayako sent me that I:ve been meaning to put on my website - what kind of Asian are you? (i.e. Fresh off the Boat, Trendy Asian Bitch, etc.). It mentioned Bubble Tea along with various (I:m assuming) anime characters. Then Hyperdramatic mentioned it, and then here we were - 8208 1/2 Forbes Ave, with pictures of various flavored teas in fancy glasses - with little black marbles in the bottom. It looked like frog:s eggs, or something of that ilk. We check the menu - green tea, milk tea, black tea, each with half a dozen flavors. Various random things to eat and drink (toast with jam?). Through the glass we see 2 tables full of young Asian men, college students probably. One table is smoking inside. We walk up, and Laura and I decide to split one... just in case. Ayako gets an almond milk tea, Laura and I split passion fruit flavored black tea. The straws are huge - maybe 1/2 to 3/4 inch in diameter. I try it - the tea is good! The balls of black tapioca (why black? we don:t know) quiver up the straw with some velocity, like they:ve been shot from a cannon. All of a sudden, 5 marbles of tapioca - flavorless, chewy tapioca - are rolling around in my mouth with the passion fruit tea. A strange experience, but not neccesarily unpleasant.

After we get our bubble tea, we walk down the street laughing (many puns and double entendres with the word :balls: ensue) and wander into the new bead and yarn shop that opened up around the corner. Very nice yarn, very cool hats. We play around with the beads and Laura breaks a string, sending electric-orange seed beads (tiny, tiny little things) scattering around the carpet. We do our best to pick it up, but I:m afraid some have made their escape down the air conditioning vent. Luckily the owners are very nice and don:t make her pay for it or anything. Ayako buys a few beads for a necklace and we pick up class schedules (they teach knitting, crocheting, beading, etc., for like 25 dollars/2 classes).

We try to decide what to do for a while, and land upon baking cookies. We hit the Geegle (aka Giant Eagle Grocery Store) and hem and haw over what kind we want. Finally we decide on white chocolate macadamia nut (!). I pick up some 8th continent soymilk to try it, a new vanilla Coke, and we head home. Do a lot of talking in the kicthen (mostly bitching about housemate Sylvia, highly uncooperative especially about current cleaning disputes), bake the cookies (gooood), and hit the sack.

Next day we head to Monroeville Mall for Mexican food at El Campesino, wander around Joanne fabrics and pick up knitting supplies for :craft night:, and hit Vicky:s secret to pick me up a new bra or two (my total of wearable bras was down to one, since the recent demise of my other one). Luckily I find a nice simple style on sale for 15 bucks a piece and pick up two. Ayako tries on a bunch, takes forever, and Laura and I hang out in the corner, laughing and discussing how uncomfortable the store makes us feel. I feel like a pervert or something, but there was an older guy across the way listening in on our conversation, so I transferred that feeling to him. ;)

Back home, we spent a few hours learning to knit and I felt like a child again with no manual dexterity. I:m making a pretty decent-looking scarf in cornflower blue (it:s about 4 inches long and 6 inches wide, at this point, with a small hole where I missed a stitch), and it:s a great way to kill time. Even better than a computer, although more physcially uncomfortable. Ayako:s parents take longer than expected to check in ( by a few hours, we were starting to get worried ) and I chat with Lisa A. who I haven:t had a chance to talk to since she came back from France. She:s a fantastic photographer, I couldn:t believe her work when I saw it up at the Red Door gallery on campus. She:s going to be a photographer:s assistant part time this summer, so there:ll be 5 of us in the house - me, Ayako, Lisa, Pam (who:ll be here next year), and Erin, who apparently is subletting Sylvia:s room while she:s in Rome and LA. We:ve yet to meet Erin.

Finally, Ayako finds her family and we decide to head to Joe Mama:s for some late night half price Italian food. We got some killer artichoke dip to start and I got ravioli. Goood stuff. When our bill came, it was under 20 dollars - for really good Italian food, 3 people. She forgot to put the drinks on but it was okay because she misheard Laura:s order and brought her rigatoni with chicken and cream sauce instead of rigatoni with meat sauce.

We got back to the house and crashed - this morning, woke up early because Ayako:s family came over around 10 to go pick up her cap and gown, get food for the design family picnic later today, and get ready for her honors convocation. It:s funny how much Ayako:s parents remind me of mine. I guess that:s why we get along so well. A quiet, intelligent father who:s very easygoing (in public, anyway ;) and a fun crazy mother who says whatever is on her mind. She also brought along her younger brother (I think he:s 16 or 17 by now) and their family friend, a custom tailor(ess). I think I hear Lisa:s family downstairs, too. I can:t believe everyone:s graduating!

Ayako and I were talking about it today - we:ve been under the same label for the past 16 or so years, and now it finally ends. I can:t believe everyone here is going off to be a real adult now, and I:ll be following in only a few short months. It:s crazy. Boggles the mind. We were both thinking about our first day at college... I remember my parents leaving, the tears and the hugs, walking back to my dorm, on my own for the first real time. I walked to my elevator, and another girl got in with me. We both looked at each other, sniffling, with tears in our eyes, and laughed sheepishly. Great memory.

So much has changed in the last few years. How am I going to take it, moving in for the last time, without my dad to help, to load the car, to get frustrated when we try to do things in whatever order we feel like, rather than the :correct: one? Without the interest in his voice when I tell him about the projects in class, show him the VR stuff on the computer, discuss what I want to do after graduation.... and god, the commencement, when it finally comes, and I:m in my cap and gown with my mom (maybe my sisters, if they can get there)... and he:s not there. It:s messing me up already to think about it.

Well, one step at a time, I suppose. First I have to pick a room, clean it out (I have the intense desire to clean every inch of this house, which no doubt will dissipate as soon as I start trying), decorate it with my stuff and start my job with Barb. I:ll try to catch Alexys at the picnic and see how her end of the internship went thus far, and what she:s doing this summer. I saw the recycling center - very cool, Ayaka and Roger did a great job on it. It could stand a little more stuff - I:m all for clean lines and white space, but it just looks a little underused for now. Which is good, we will need the room later, I:m sure.

There:s at least 2 families somewhere in the house.. I:m not sure if I should be going somewhere with Ayako soon or not, so I:ll sign off and go try to fix my knitting (for some reason, I switched from knit to purl in the middle of a row). More to come later, maybe not till Monday tho.

Hmmm... I'm in a gaming mood, so I'm just blogging while waiting for what may or may not be a free copy of Diablo to download. I have no money, so I have no shame. Heh.

Speaking of which, I had a long confrontational talk with Caron, and I think we resolved some issues. We'll see. Hopefully from now on, I'll be able to say something along the lines of 'okay, you've just exceeded my John quota', or something like that. I explained to her that there was a various combination of things pissing me off, and it's mostly when she touches on those subjects, and especially when she harps on them, that a problem occurs, and I get annoyed and mean.

I explained it to her thusly - today, the underwire in my bra broke in half. That's a first for me, personally - they usually just decide to emerge from their cocoon and attempt to escape via the neck of my shirt. I usually catch them when they start poking me. This one, however, split and tried its damndest to infiltrate my mammary gland. Of course, I didn't fully realize this until the end of the day, when I had a big red sore spot on the underside of my boob. Not enjoyable. So I explained to Caron that John is like that piece of wire poking my boob. Up to a point, I just deal with it, although it's not really something I am ever pleased about. After a while, though, I'm sore, and I no longer can tolerate the sharp metal digging into me.

I think she got it.

I got 2 1/3 ceramics pieces back (out of 5). Mom's bowl and stand came out really nicely. Not perfect, but enough drips and discoloration to make it interesting. Ayako's bowl came out cruddy. The glaze is not a pretty color (it's like dirty milk with clumps of orange) and it completely covered the slip decoration I'd put on underneath. So I'm going to buy a really pretty candle to put inside! Or give her the choice of taking my incense/votive burner, which is going to turn out really cool looking, I think, from the 1/3 of it I got back. Not that it'll be attractive at all, or match with anyone's decor. But it *will* look like a carnivorous alien insect, which is what I was going for.

I need to see a movie! I've missed so many movies that I really wanted to see, and I've been jonesing for Spiderman for like ever. I was watching the Daily Show today and happened to catch their film reviewer's, um, review of it. I saw a scene I'd never seen before (I swear I saw a scene I saw) - where after he gets bit by a spider, he gets - MUSCLES! (pronounced musk-els) Woah there, Tobey baby. *wolf whistle* And if I don't get to see Star Wars Ep II pretty soon after it comes out, I'm gonna be pissed. I want to drool over Ewan, aged though he may be. And I'm warming up to that ... guy, what is his name? Christensen? Where did he come from, anyway, is he a newbie? I dunno, at first, I was like, what, he's the *only* eye candy they're giving us? WTF? Hamill was better than *that*. But he's starting to look better the more I see him. Perhaps I'm swayed by knowing the ending. *sigh* I guess that's the problem with prequels.

Wow. I sound incredibly shallow. And spoiled. Somewhat like a valley girl. Ah well.

I think I've discovered what makes blogs popular, or more specifically, what makes mine not. #1, long posts. #2, long boring posts with lots of bitching. #3, not enough linkage to new and interesting and exciting things that no one else has linked to. #4, no deep thoughts, especially none phrased in a particularly literary manner. That's okay, though. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me. If I really cared about providing decent content to Internet readers, I'd start all over, and come up with a theme. I have an idea for one, but it would have to be anonymous for me to do it right, so I won't mention what it would be. *evil laugh* The other blog would have some sort of structure besides long posts ranting about how I have no life, or my relationship difficulties, or whatever the hell else I post about. I'd pick something, like the activities in the Beeler house (4 girls, one guy, how can you go wrong?), or design, or something like that. Not attempting to chronicle my entire daily life - keep it simple, stupid. If I cared. But then, if I cared, I would be transferring my high school portfolio to my 100 megs free account so that I could put it online again. I need to find a decent webhosting service to keep for a long time. Oh yeah, and one that's pretty cheap... I just need a few dozen megs of space, ftp capability and php stuff. Nothing fancy.

I'd link to the CMU designers' page, but I'm afraid it would get back to me, and all my secrets would be known. *gasp*